175. "Do I Have Your Permission to Take Over?" Becky's Mental Health Story - Becky Endicott, CFRE
Today’s episode is part of a 5-day Mental Health Week series on the We Are For Good Podcast. Explore the other episodes and resources here.
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Overview
Welcome to Mental Health Week on the We Are For Good Podcast. It's Day 1, and today's episode cuts close to home. Becky is sharing her personal mental health journey. We're glad you're here.
You know Becky. She's bubbly, outgoing, happiest when she's juggling a million tasks and never misses an opportunity to effusively love on someone. But there was a season where she was just wasn't any of those things. She was not ok. And the great irony was she was working on a multimillion dollar mental health campaign when she experienced her own mental health collapse. It was scary. It was isolating. It was all too much. And she doesn't want anyone experiencing those feelings alone. She's busting through stigma to share her mental health crisis story, and she's hoping doing it in community will help you recognize symptoms for yourself and others. It's not a sad story. It's an empowering one. Join us🎧
Today’s Guest
Becky Endicott, CFRE, Co-Founder and Chief Storyteller, We Are For Good
“I think our sector is in a time of reckoning. And I think that this is the single biggest elephant in the room. The way that we take care of everybody else, and we are not taking care of ourselves or our teams.”
Episode Transcript
Download Full Episode Transcript Here
Episode highlights
Becky’s personal mental health journey (4:10)
The stigma around mental health (28:00)
Mental health in the nonprofit sector (30:00)
Things that Becky has learned (39:00)
Talk to someone.
If you don’t want to talk, just find someone to hold you.
Alone and quiet time is essential.
Set boundaries.
Ask for help.
What Becky would say to her younger self (48:00)
Powerful quotes
“You have an incredible ability to love and care for people that is beyond what normal people have the capacity for.” -Jon
“I remember you kind of at the tail end of it, looking at me one day in the office and saying, someday you're going to tell this story. I don't know where you're going to tell it on social media, but you're going to tell the story. And it's going to, it's going to make people stop and think because they think that you have your life completely together.” -Becky
“The stigma associated with mental health crises is so real.” -Becky
“We don't even ask people because we don't know how to talk about it.” -Becky
“And then two days after that, the bottom dropped out. And I had my first really big nervous breakdown. And I had a panic attack that lasted 18 hours. And that began my journey for the next 10 months.” -Becky
“What I know now, just by virtue of being in this podcast is what is the bedrock of our company, that community is everything. And the fact that I didn't want to burden anybody with that I didn't go to community was such a misstep.” -Becky
“Kyle literally wrapped his body around me. And I cried like I've never cried before. And the moment that hope, like came back into my life was when Kyle looked at me and he said the most beautiful and perfect sentence that could ever be uttered, “Do I have your permission to take control?” -Becky
“It was the first time I felt like I gave someone the reins to my life.” -Becky
“People have to know this had been building for decades. I mean, I was super high achiever my whole life, you know, involved in all the things I'm high extrovert, you know, I love being around people. But it's but even high. extroverts have to find silence. We have to find stillness. Everybody needs to find a quiet place.” -Becky
“The things that are important to you become so crystal clear, it is very strange how all these things that I thought were important. They just sort of melted away into the background.” -Becky
“I think when you have space to think things become very clear. ideas come to you.” -Becky
“I had a house and a family that loved and supported me through this, all of this is privilege. There are, if you are even going through this, and you don't have even one of those things, it makes the mountain that much harder to climb.” -Becky
“I think our sector is in a time of reckoning. And I think that this is the single biggest elephant in the room and nonprofit, the way that we take care of everybody else. And we are not taking care of ourselves. And we are not taking care of our teams.” -Becky
“And people do not feel they have the power, the privilege or the ability to raise their hand and say, I am not well, I need help.” -Becky
“Something that happened and I to me is when I started sharing my story with people, I had more people lean in and whisper to me, that's me too, or that happened to me. And I thought how many of us are out here suffering in silence, because we don't feel like we have either the support to talk about it, or because our industry is so hardwired to just keep piling and piling in, figure it out, and pivot and run to the next thing that we don't create space, to pause, to reflect, to support, to advocate for to resource.” -Becky
“As much as we're talking about campaigns, how are we moving our donors? How are we receiving them? We have got to be integrating the phrase, how is everybody doing?” -Becky
“So that was something else that I had to unwind of why do I not feel worthy to invest in myself, and that is a challenge to you out there. You are worthy to be invested in to have somebody look into your heart and your soul and understand why things are bothering you. You need to find coping mechanisms.” -Becky
“I think there's some work to be done in our sector. And it begins with caring about each other. And Gosh, darn it, caring about yourself.” -Becky
connect with Becky
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